Thanks for your patience and loving kindness towards us both as we walk through this valley. Oh, I wish that I could say that it has been easy with Jesus at my side, but it just hasn’t been. My heart continues to hurt each and every moment of the day over this. I find that I’m happiest when I’m alone sometimes… just quietly resting in the safe corners of my home and away from the outside world.
It’s comforting when Jesus places certain songs on my heart that best describe some of the emotions that I experience. There is freedom in saying to the world that this is what Gina looks like “unzipped” from the inside out apart from her beloved, and yes… he is still my beloved. I’ve always believed that true love should be unrelenting in it’s approach. It should be faithful to the end, forgiving beyond measure, and sealed through Christ’s redemption.
One day, some day, I may write about how desperately low this situation took me and yet, how God met me in the dirt of my life and never took his hands off of me. I have to tell you that in some strange way, it is comfortable resting in the dirt with Jesus at my side because I know he is here.
The Spirit brought me a word in the dirt the other day and it was “patience.” I was reading my Bible and looking over many verses on “forgiveness.” I was asking God to forgive me for any of the wrongs that I may not have confessed in my life when the word “patience” came up not once, but three times. I really didn’t take note of it much until I heard a still small voice whisper “This is for you Gina.” I have no idea what it means but I do know that a blanket of peace washed over me and I felt better than I have in months. And to think, that’s what God gave me while laying in the dirt face down.
Please don’t stop praying… its way too soon to give up.
~Gina for Arise Medical Missions