Hi everyone. I finally made it to New York City and to the Bowery Mission by the Grace of God. I’ve been working on trying to get here since Wednesday and it took a great deal of prayer support and patience for God to move mountains and allow me to step onto a plane. Right now, I”m sitting on my bunk while a group of youth bake 500 apple pies on the next level below me.
I’m pretty closed off emotionally to most anything other than searching for Jesus at every turn. Learning to live without Carl in my life is all new to me and feels terrible but I know that God is aware of that and has elected to allow me to travel down this road of singleness for now. Thankfully, I in no way feel alone. I miss my kids and my life as I once knew it.
In my prayer life, I’m working on things to be thankful for and then trying to write them down. There’s so much to be thankful for and I know it. Still, I’m like a broken china doll that has been ever so carefully glued back together. I’m beautiful in God’s eyes but I’m cracked and fragile beyond repair. In my flesh, I would like nothing more than to crawl under the blanket on the mattress and hide from the world.
Thoughts of Nepal and our life there continue to flood into my thinking at every turn. I ask myself every day how someone who wanted something so badly is now so very far away from where she thought she would be.
I’m praying for a Divine appointment while I’m here. Something that will grab a hold of my broken heart and heal just a tiny portion of it to stop the bleeding… because it hasn’t stopped, not even for a day, not even for a minute, not even for a second. Simply put, I miss my husband deeply but I know that God knows all about it.
In You alone Lord,
~Gina for Arise Medical Missions