Gina Update 011310

Jude 1:24 (The Message)

 24-25And now to him who can keep you on your feet, standing tall in his bright presence, fresh and celebrating—to our one God, our only Savior, through Jesus Christ, our Master, be glory, majesty, strength, and rule before all time, and now, and to the end of all time. Yes. 
 

Hmmm… I really like this translation of Jude 1:24 because it seems very practical at times. I recently told a dear friend that I’m experiencing “death by verse.” I love each and every person who writes but often my in-box is flooded with Bible verses and nothing to go with them? The expression of “death by verse” was made in jest as it relates to “death by PowerPoint.” Now don’t stop sending me Bible verses because the Word of God is keeping me alive right now but my point in even writing about this is that sometimes it’s easy to forget that the wounded sheep that’s going through a trial may need something to go with the verse (love you guys).

Many of you ask, “Are you alive?” Of course I’m alive (at times I wish I wasn’t but God doesn’t work that way last time I checked). I’m just like an EKG rhythm… sometimes I’ve got a really strong and well-organized life rhythm and at other times, I’m flat-lined and dead. How it seems to work is that when I’m flat-lined, a verse manages its way into my in-box or text messages and all of a sudden it’s just enough to get my heart going again. It’s a good thing.

 

There’s so much to say but it’s just not suitable for a public blog or maybe it would be better not being said at all? I guess if I had anything at all to say it would be that just when I think I can’t take another single moment of this, God shows up for the rescue. What I hate the most is that he doesn’t seem to show up when I’m still looking for him? Lately, it’s been when I’ve stopped looking for him. When I’m hiding under my covers and I’m done talking to him because there isn’t anything else left to say and all of a sudden there’s a tiny break in the grief process.

I love it. Someone at church the other night said, “Gina… you need help.” I was thinking… “Boy, do I ever. I just can’t take this anymore. How much longer? When will this end? I hate feeling this way?” Then they went on to say, “You need someone to defend and protect you.” Ahhh, I see said the blind woman. You’re right. My defender and protector is in the form of the one and only Jesus Christ and I’m hanging on to him with fear and trepidation having already hired him.

I’m writing because there’s a break in the pain process and I’m sitting at the library with the beautiful sun shining in on me. I feel good right this second and I wish that it would stay except that I know that it won’t. I guess the goal is to appreciate it while it lasts and then to look forward to it’s return when it goes? I can see and feel God’s presence right now and it feels WONDERFUL. Oh, how I wish it would stay even though I know it never leaves. It’s only me that leaves and forgets that God remains.

Lots and lots of love,

~Gina for Arise Medical Missions

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